Why am I choosing to be unwell?

Of course, this sounds ridiculous, but you would be surprised to see just how many ‘choose’ to remain sick. Consciously, none of us want to be sick, unwell, or in pain. But as many of you know, we are constantly choosing our own reality— good or bad— because there is something we are getting out of it. Let me give you an example of a client who dealt with chronic pain that limited her day-to-day life. We had done several healings because consciously she wanted to be well, but subconsciously she loved the attention she was getting from her husband and two adult children. This unconscious program never wanted her to regain her strength because then they’d stop coming around to help Mom. Realizing this secret motive changed everything, and her pain began to lessen once she actively developed a healthy relationship with her family that didn’t involve her playing the helpless victim.

Another reason why people choose to be ‘sick’ has its roots in past lives. I have seen so many twisted examples of why people deny their health. One soul had no compassion for the sick and dying, so they decided to suffer in this life to learn what it feels like. Another soul was still running religious programs that involved punishing themselves for perceived sins by living with chronic health concerns. I met with a fiercely independent client who was brought to his knees by a health condition so the soul could learn to allow others to take care of him. This was by far the worst thing that has ever happened to him, and he hated every minute of it.  As you might have guessed by now, this Soul was the constant provider and caretaker for everyone else in past lives and needed to balance the karma. The illness wasn’t necessarily required if he had just learned to allow others into his life so he could be on the receiving end of things. He’s a defiant, stubborn man who refused help from anyone, insisting that he can ‘do it all himself.’ So this perceived illness allowed him the opportunity to learn this lesson. Do you see how we never escape our curriculum? The lessons are always there, and we will learn one way or another.

For those that deal with chronic health issues, the question becomes, what is my body trying to teach me? I’ve had several clients struggle with releasing extra weight because on some level they believe “if I stay fat, nobody will love them.” Or they use the extra weight as a protection mechanism because of sexual abuse in past lives. It’s remarkable to see a body shift into a wellness pattern when you tell the body it’s safe, you are okay, and nobody is going to hurt you.

Ask yourself honestly, what am I getting out of this condition? Do I enjoy the extra attention? Some people identify with their sickness so much that it becomes their whole identity. Maybe the disease gives you something unique and you really like being different? I had one client that started our session bragging about just how rare their condition is. They later realized that they never truly wanted to heal because then they’d be average and boring. Another client uses their disability to prevent them from living their life. Deep down they are afraid to be seen and show the world their gifts after countless past lives of punishment by death. The idea of standing out in the world is pure torture, so instead they hide at home and remain small. The disability is the perfect excuse to never live, and that was a huge revelation for this individual.

So before you go to the doctor, shaman, healer, etc., to “make it go away,” stop and ask, what am I getting out of this? Most of the time it reinforces a negative belief that lacks love. Try to understand what this is teaching you and then thank this condition for opening your eyes and your mind to something far greater than you ever thought before.

If you'd like to explore more about your own situation, schedule a SRT session here.